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PROMOTING SOCIAL AND EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT

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The social and emotional development that occurs in the first 6 years of life can have a lifelong impact.  Environmental education programs of the past tended to be more fact and skill based, leaving out what we now know to be essential concepts of emotional expression and connected relationships.

 

At Miami Nature Playschool, we actively recognize and name our own emotions and give children language to express their emotional states.  We bring their attention to an awareness of others’ feelings and assist children in building emotional resilience.

 

Nature is a healing salve for anxiety or conflicted emotions.  Often children will reveal stress from their home life either energetically or verbally.  It is important to give children the space to feel comfortable to talk about their troubles while also maintaining the position that simply being in nature is therapeutic and to resist taking on the role of therapist or confidante.  When children are upset or emotionally breaking down, we often give them the option to sit at the base of a tree or on the ground.  We also allow them time alone if they want, as long as they are still within the parent's / mentor’s sight.  Sometimes we remind the children about the value of taking deep breaths to calm themselves.

 

As Facilitators and Mentors, one of our goals is to empower children in learning how to work with others while simultaneously enhancing their individuality.  We are committed to speaking respectfully to all children and modeling appropriate responses to the range of each child's emotions.

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Promote independence.  Children feel a great sense of accomplishment and empowerment when they can solve their own problems.  We work to encourage children to challenge themselves and persevere when they are struggling to achieve a goal—and ask parents to do the same.  The sense of accomplishment that results when the child is successful feeds his or her sense of self-esteem.  We remain sensitive to a child who has shifted from struggling with a task to frustration over their inability to achieve their goal.  At all times, we are available to help while strongly encouraging each child to push beyond his/her limits in order to increase his/her intrinsic feelings of competence.

 

We are often tempted to do a variety of things for children that they are actually capable of doing by themselves, whether because we think we are being helpful or because we are in a hurry.  It is important that the Facilitator, Mentor or Parent let children challenge themselves and resist the temptation to step in to help before being asked for it.

 

Some children, when starting the program, want to stay close to their Parent or Mentor or apart from the group and have a hard time integrating with the other children.  Our strategy is to slowly step away, and subtly encourage these children to join the group.  Some children take longer than others to feel comfortable in social groups and this is perfectly okay.  We respect that.

 

 

COMMITMENT TO YOUR CHILD'S PHYSICAL SAFETY AND EMOTIONAL WELL-BEING

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As naturalists, we are committed to inspiring and modeling respect for the earth and all its creatures.  This includes modeling and fostering respect for self and for others at all times.  We shun competitiveness in favor of cooperative activities, guiding children into co-creative adventures.

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We have a zero-tolerance policy for hitting, grabbing, pushing, name-calling, aggressiveness or any other demeaning behavior.  If any of these behaviors occur at the FOREST KINDERGARTEN, one of our Mentors will immediately work with the child to redirect their behavior.  If this becomes a repetitive act, the instigating child will be moved outside the play zone to a calm place, where the child's concerns can be heard one-on-one.

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We empower children to learn how to work with others while simultaneously enhancing their individuality.  We will speak respectfully to your child and model appropriate responses to the range of your child's emotions.  If needed, we will hold and carry your child so he/she feels safe when you are not around.

 

 

SAFETY RULES

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At Miami Nature Playschool, we allow children to engage in moderate risk activities.  These mitigated risks are important developmentally.  Mentors and Facilitators assess all environments for potential hazards and remove them, if warranted.  We balance the safety of the children with teaching them risk awareness skills.  With due diligence, potential hazards do not interfere with the program or with children’s enjoyment.

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Our goal is to support children in developing their own powers of observation and discernment, and to reinforce their awareness of where their body is in relation to others.  These are important concepts that children between the ages of one and three are beginning to explore and test.  We wish to empower children to feel confident they can assess and navigate potential risks and be safe without an adult present, which will eventually occur at some point in their young lives.

 

We suggest parents take a moment before saying, "Don't" and ask themselves, "Why not"?

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We encourage all children to remind each other about our safety rules .  It is our philosophy that if we empower our children to stand up for the rules of kindness and safety, there will be less bullying in the world.  We want to be instrumental in raising a group of children who understand the democratic importance of kindness and safety and believe that it is appropriate to remind those who are not living by these established standards.

 

Some of the Miami Nature Playschool rules are detailed below.  Our rules have some flexibility to better support child-directed play on a case-by-case basis.  We recognize that children have individualized needs for challenge and risk and provide safe alternative approaches to potentially dangerous aspects of an activity whenever possible.  Sometimes, we employ songs or safety sayings to make learning the rules more palatable and part of the fun.

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Climbing

Children are only allowed to climb to twice their own height.  We encourage children to climb on their own—without physical aid from an adult.  The learning benefits of this activity increase exponentially when a child is permitted to experience frustration, learn slowly at their own pace, and assess their own capabilities by climbing to a place they can reach on their own.  Additionally, children are not to play below where another child is climbing.   We encourage parents and older children to look carefully and distinguish branches that are dead or may be more prone to breaking.

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Sticks

Sticks are dangerous mostly from the standpoint that they may be sharp.  Giving children alternative, safer ways in which to play with their favorite found objects encourages them to honor the rules of safety that have been established.  Instead of forbidding children to carry, swing or throw sticks, we build in safety rules and create a Stick Practice Zone.

 

Children are told, “Big sticks are for big spaces. No sticks in small places.”  This means that large sticks must be parked outside of enclosed spaces like their nature huts.  Other parameters are that children are to walk (no running) with sticks and they must be pointed toward the ground.  Since we know children at this age love to feel things with their mouths, we teach them that it is okay to put the stick in their mouth horizontally if they want to chew or bite on it.  We give children specific areas and opportunities to throw sticks at designated targets, away from the group.

 

Throwing

Throwing provides lessons in trajectory, body awareness, hand-eye coordination and physical and emotional release.  We provide children with direction regarding where to throw and under what circumstances.  For example, we encourage children to orient the trajectory of their thrown object away from friends and other living beings and to throw only lightweight objects in consideration of unseen fauna.

 

Fauna

Children at Miami Nature Playschool learn to distinguish between fauna that could harm them and those that pose no threat.  In all instances, children learn to respect every living being and to not intentionally kill anything simply due to fear.  We teach and model mindful ways of handling harmless animals and insects that respect the well-being of all creatures, including humans.  This being said, we encourage children to be quiet observers rather than handlers.  We want the animals and insects to feel safe in their homes as well, and teach the children how our big fingers can unintentionally damage small creatures.  By asking open-ended questions, we help redirect their extreme desire to touch them.

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Hiding or wandering from the group

One of the most important safeguards we have instituted is that children and adult caregivers must be able to see each other at all times.  That is, each child must be able to see their parent or mentor and parents/mentors must always be able to see each child.  It is of critical importance that each child is accounted for at all times.  Even when hiding or wandering, we insist that each child MUST respond when a mentor/parent calls them by name and to remain in a place where they can be seen.

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We implement code words that all children learn to immediately respond to such as STOP, FREEZE or DANGER.

 

Water Play

Children must be supervised at all times in the presence of any standing or moving water, including puddles and ponds.

 

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RULES OF KINDNESS AND CONSIDERATION

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We have developed these rules of kindness and consideration for all (children and parents) to follow while at the program.  Mentors and Facilitators at Miami Nature Playschool will emphasize good manners and model the rules consistently.

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Physical contact

Body space awareness and respect are constant themes when children are outdoors.  No child is too young to learn that their personal space is sacred and that they have the right to determine who touches them or comes very close to them.  We encourage parents to guide their children (and do it themselves with other children) to check in with their friend before touching or hugging them in any way.  We give children words to express their boundaries such as: 

"I am feeling crowded.” or "Please don't touch me.” or "I need space.”

 

When feeling angry or upset with someone, we reiterate that children must use their words and not their body.  We ask children to first use their friend's name when speaking to them so the friend knows someone wants their attention.  Children are encouraged to respond when spoken to so the other person does not feel ignored.

 

When we are running or playing chasing games, we remind children to be aware of their bodies in relation to others and to run in the same direction to avoid collisions.  When running down a trail, faster runners can run to the front if they say, "Excuse me.” and wait for the other child to step aside.  We designate specific places for running that are spacious and can accommodate all.  During chase games we model ways children can check in with each other, asking, "Do you want to be chased right now?"  We also scaffold the kind of language or non-verbal cues children might use when they want to stop being chased, such as stating, "I don't want to be chased anymore.” and/or to just stop running.

 

Yelling and Shouting

When children are outdoors, we tell them it is now okay to use their "outdoor voices".  We discourage screaming—because it is difficult to distinguish from a cry for help—by saying, "Screaming is for emergencies only.”  Shouting requires big spaces.  We encourage children to orient their voices away from others when yelling and growling to minimize any negative impact on ears and emotions.

 

Respectful Interactions with all living beings

Sometimes a gentle voice, gentle words, gentle faces and gentle movements are what is most needed.  We often ask older children to reframe their communication to be more respectful in their interactions at the FOREST KINDERGARTEN and ask parents to model these types of interactions during their stay at IMAGINA.  Additionally, we expect children to be gentle with the flora and fauna around us.  To this end, we always model ways of gently touching and handling other living beings.

 

When a child falls or is hurt in any way, the first thing we do is prompt the children to ask, ”Are you okay, friend?”, "Is there anything I can do to help?”, or "Do you want a hug?"  Serious injuries will require the parent/facilitator to step in.  However, in the interest of developing empathy, we generally encourage children to be the emotional support for their friends.

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All the facilitators at Miami Nature Playschool hold a CPR and Pediatric First Aid Certification.

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Nature Art

We teach the children to respect anything others create by saying, "If you make it, you can break it.”  As facilitators, if a creation we have spent a lot of time on is accidentally destroyed, we model an attitude that expresses, “Accidents will happen.” and carry on.  This is a small lesson in non-attachment coupled with respect for another person's creation.

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Taking turns and Sharing

Since most “toys’ in our program are generated by our natural surroundings, there are plenty for everyone.  Opportunities to learn turn-taking generally occur while waiting to see an insect up close.  Children can practice patience, waiting skills and learn distraction techniques for themselves.  We encourage all parents to help their children forge social connections by challenging the children to find their own ways to resolve conflict, as opposed to providing solutions for them.

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Languaging

The verb languaging forces us to understand language as a process rather than as an object.  We use the same tone of voice and language that we expect of the children.  Even in moments of exasperation, adults in the program must address all participants in a gentle unstrained voice.  Our nature immersion pedagogy requires a different language than most of us grew up with.  We encourage children to come up with their own solutions to difficulties and only offer suggestions if they need further support.

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Listed below are some languaging strategies we have come up with for you to practice at the program and share at home:

 

Creating a friendly and inclusive environment

When children are arguing over a natural found object, we say:

"The forest belongs to everyone, please find a way to share" or “Can you help your friend find another special stick?"

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When a child seems hesitant to join a game in progress, we encourage social interaction by asking:

"How about inviting your friend to join your game?"

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We help children ask:

"What are you playing?" or “Can I play with you?"

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We encourage children to be inclusive by asking:

"How can you include your friend?"

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For example, if one child is adamant about piloting their imaginary plane by him/her self, other children can offer a helping role, such as mechanic or food server.  Since we do not allow exclusionary play, we sometimes say, "What shall we all play?" or "If you can't find a way to include your friend, please choose another game in which they can be included.”  When a child is having difficulty or struggling with a task, we ask one of the other children, "How can you help your friend?" If needed, we may offer suggestions such as, "How about offering them a hand?"

 

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Positive Behavior Reinforcement

When children exhibit appropriate social behavior, we immediately notice and name the specific behavior, e.g., "I notice that you shared the bucket with your friend.  That was kind of you.” or “I notice that you asked for a turn with the shovel.  Thank you for waiting so patiently.”

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When older children require reminders about rules, we often address the entire group by asking, "Can anyone help remind us of the rules about sticks?" and "Can you repeat them back to me?" Another strategy we use is redirecting the behavior.  For example, if a child is throwing rocks, we might say, "I notice that you feel like throwing.  How can you throw so your friends stay safe?"

 

We strive to phrase requests and rules in the positive and tell children what we want them to do, avoiding the word “don’t".  We shun judgments or humiliation.  Instead, we respectfully and gently remind a child of the rules.   To redirect, we might say, "I notice you are pointing your stick in your friend's face.  Do you remember the rules we have about sticks?”  It is helpful to have the children repeat the rules back to the parent / facilitator so they are reinforced and internalized.

 

If a safety concern arises that we don't have a specific rule for, we might say, "Here is what I'm worried about…”, naming the specific concern for the child to consider.  By asking children to reflect on why a certain rule is important, we encourage their critical thinking skills and their investment in ensuring safety for all.

 

“If … then…” statements are a powerful tool for giving children a choice in making good decisions about safety.  For example, we might say, "If you keep going out of my sight, then you will have to walk beside me.” to a child who is prone to wandering.

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We ask children to use a gentle tone of voice when making requests and to describe what they want another child to do or not do.  If a child repeats, "No, no!" we point out that the other child may not understand what behavior the first child is objecting to.  We counsel children to address each other by name and to describe the offensive action or behaviour.

 

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Empowering children-helping them think for themselves and to value themselves

If a child is feeling frustrated over a particular task, we encourage them by asking, "What's another way you can do that?"  Before offering a suggestion (and only if needed), we might ask the other children to suggest solutions.  We want each child to recognize that his/her experience is unique and encourage them with words like, "Try it for yourself, see if you like it.”  In order to develop each child's sense of self-pride, we say, " You must be so proud of yourself for doing that.” and never, “I am so proud of you.”

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Our goal to enhance each child's awareness of their body in space and its relation to others so we intentionally question children to foster this development.  We might ask them if they know a more efficient or safe way to orient their body, e.g., "What would be the best way to turn your body so you won't hit anyone with what you are holding or throwing?"

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Gentle coaxing

Examples of how we might provide subtle suggestions include, "So, I am wondering if you want to try it another way?” or, if further direction is needed, "Maybe you want to try it this way?" If we sense that a change of activity or space is needed, we might ask, " Is anyone ready for an adventure?" or "Want to see what we found yesterday?" or "Does anyone have a story to tell?"

 

Emotional awareness

Giving preschool children language to describe their emotions is a large part of the work that we do at the program.  We might ask, "Was that a surprised or a shocked face?" or, "It looks like you are feeling frustrated.”  To encourage empathy, we might say, "Do you see that look on your friend's face?  How do you think they are feeling?" or, "Do you remember how that felt when it happened to you?"

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When a child says, "I can't do this.”, we say, ” I think you can.” and suggest ways the child might achieve their goal.   

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COMMUNITY AND GROUP MANAGEMENT

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Because we are a community of families working together, it is of high importance that Mentors/facilitators and parents find consistency in our styles of discipline, community/group management and conflict resolution.

 

In regards to discipline, we follow the Conscious Discipline or Positive Discipline approach.  Empathy, positivity and encouragement are always the best paths in response to behavior challenges in young children.  The facilitator and all the parents work to provide guidance by modeling appropriate behavior with the children and with other adults.  Positive redirection often works in areas where modeling does not.

 

At the Communities:

1. We strive to follow Conscious Discipline’s method of addressing the cause of the behavior first, and then teaching a new, acceptable skill.

2. Imposed consequences will be “natural” consequences, not punishments.

3. Under no circumstances will shame, blame or fear be used to influence behavior.

4. At IMAGINA, each parent is responsible for his/her child during the program, and any situation or conflict must be addressed according to the developmental stage of the children involved and resolved before leaving for the day.

5. At the FOREST KINDERGARTEN, mentors are responsible for modeling a positive approach to any situation or conflict,.  These must be addressed according to the developmental stage of the children involved and resolved before leaving for the day.

6. At either program, if a child takes something away from or hurts a peer, parents and/or mentors must attend to the child in distress first, addressing how they feel and helping them calm down before talking and attending to the child who imposed their will on the other(s).

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CONFLICT RESOLUTION

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Conflicts will inevitably arise.  Facilitators, mentors and parents will maintain a calm, non-coercive response to any conflict that may arise within the group or community.  According to Conscious Discipline, “…when a conflict is occurring, the focus must be on maintaining/regaining composure.”  Only when both involved in the conflict are composed can true teaching and learning take place.  Once everyone is calm, the adult/mentor has the opportunity to teach a helpful way the child could have responded.

With the following actions, children can simultaneously learn emotional self-regulation and conflict resolution skills:

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1. Allow each child to fully express his/her feelings and needs.  This can be done in the relaxation area (Safe Place).

2. Teach children appropriate ways to respond.

3. For children under 3 years old, we can use redirection and distraction with other objects/actions.

4. For three to five year-olds, we can teach taking turns.

5. Clearly state expectations.

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SETTING LIMITS

 

Dr. Becky Bailey describes how to set limits for toddlers as follows:

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It’s a toddler’s job to explore.  Hand-in-hand with that exploration come behaviors like pushing the limits.  A toddler is trying to define the edges of his/her world, and to define where “I” end and “you” (everyone else) begins.  Because they are just beginning to explore and gain experience, toddlers are unable to consciously realize the consequences of their behaviors.  This ends up looking like impulsivity to adults.  A toddler’s impulsivity is the tool s/he uses to learn about boundaries and cause-effect relationships.  When children are impulsive, parents and other caregivers must set limits on their behavior.

We can optimize a child’s exploration while setting appropriate boundaries by acknowledging the child feelings while clearly communicating and maintaining the limit, and offering acceptable alternatives.  The steps to set an effective limit can be summed up with the acronym ACT.

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1. Acknowledge the child’s feelings, wishes, wants and motivations.  When you do this, you tell your child that his/her emotions and inner-self are okay.  Setting the limit without acknowledging your toddler’s feelings indicates that emotions are not important and may carry a sense of “wrongness” rather than age-exploration.  As you empathize with your child’s feelings, you will help to diffuse them.  Accepting the feelings often satisfies the child and his/her need for the act no longer exists.  Acknowledge your toddler’s feelings with statements like these: “You seem angry.”; “Seems like you’re frustrated with these puzzles.”; “It seems to me like you feel sad today.”; “You wanted to see what was outside the window.”

2. Communicate the limit in terms of safety, using an assertive voice and clear language.  Set the limit using words that the child can easily understand.  “Throwing puzzle pieces is not safe.”, “It’s not safe to climb on the dresser.” and “It’s hard for me to breathe when you squeeze my neck so hard.” are examples of clear and age-appropriate limits.  These statements leave no doubt about the behavior.  Avoid phrases like, “You need to___,” and “I think___,” because these phrases do not communicate the limit in a clear and assertive way.

3. Target acceptable behavior, by giving the child positive alternatives.  You have told your child the unsafe consequence of his/her action.  Now tell him/her how to express the original desire appropriately.  Toddlers act impulsively and without stopping to think about consequences.  They have a feeling, wish, desire or need, and they express it in the only way they know.  They may not be aware of other ways to express what they want or feel.  “If you want my attention, you can touch my arm.” is an example of an appropriate alternative.

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DEALING WITH AN UPSET CHILD

 

According to expert Dr. Becky Bailey, “To respond to the child in a way that addresses his/her emotion, we must teach him/her how to handle being upset.We can do this by actively calming ourselves, helping the child to calm down and labeling the emotion to build the child’s self-awareness.”

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If a child continues to act aggressively towards others, the facilitators/mentors will work with the family to try to create an effective program for their child to remediate the problem.  To keep other children safe, full parent participation will be required in these cases. 

Although children will misbehave during the program, we don’t see their behavior as being “bad”.  Children go through different stages.  If we understand their development, we can provide better responses.  Children are simply testing their limits and figuring out what’s right and wrong.

 

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REDIRECTING BEHAVIOR

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Redirecting a child’s behavior in a conscious environment relates to how a parent interacts with a child when he/she is misbehaving.

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Facilitators and parents must offer productive alternatives for the child.  For example, if a child is knocking down another child’s tower, the facilitator and/or parent might suggest that he or she create something in another area to knock down.

 

Many teachable moments naturally arise.  In these moments, facilitators and parents support children in developing their own intellectual curiosity, respect for others, and strengthened problem solving and communication skills.

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CREATING A SAFE AND COMFORTABLE LEARNING ENVIRONMENT

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Another important aspect of the Facilitator, Mentor and Parent’s roles is to create a safe and comfortable learning environment.  We believe that each person has a right to feel physically and emotionally safe and that children will more freely explore new concepts, gain further meaningful experiences and learn best overall when they feel safe.

 

To support a safe and comfortable environment at our Nature Program, there are few agreements we ask the children, parents and teachers to follow. 

 

These agreements are:

1. We listen to each other.

2. We follow and guide our child during the activities and wait until snack time to share experiences with other parents.

3. Hands are for helping, not for hurting.

4. We use “I Care” language

5. We care about each other’s feelings.

6. We are responsible for what we say or do.

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Children also have a right to their personal space and to choose to participate or not participate in any activity as long as they are respectful of the other people and do not disturb others’ work or play.

A safe environment is created and maintained at the program when facilitators, mentors and parents:

1. Speak to children in ways they wish to be spoken to (i.e. requests vs. demands).

2. Support children to freely express their feelings.

3. Are mindful of children’s state of being, the situations they come from and their emotional and physical needs.

4. Respect the whole child including their reasoning, thoughts and feelings.

5. Take time to understand and acknowledge the child’s perspective.

6. Assume the child has the best of intentions.

7. Remain impartial and fair.